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Gottman and Levenson defined nonregulated couples as more prone to conflict engaging behaviors, while regulated couples tend to engage in more constructive, positive communicative behaviors. [ 3 ] [ 4 ] It is noted that not all nonregulated couples exhibit all negative affective behaviors, nor do all regulated couples exhibit all positively ...
John Mordecai Gottman (born April 26, 1942) is an American psychologist and professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington. His research focuses on divorce prediction and marital stability through relationship analyses.
[8] One criticism of the instrument was that it was given so often in employment situations, as one newspaper columnist wrote in 1993, "I’ve taken the test so many times I know what answers will get the desired outcome." [9] Others praise the TKI as a reliable, valid measure of personality. [10]
A conflict style inventory is a written tool for gaining insight into how people respond to conflict. Typically, a user answers a set of questions about their responses to conflict and is scored accordingly. Most people develop a patterned response to conflict based on their life history and history with others.
What's more, Gottman noted, data from a 1984 Munich study demonstrated that the (reflective listening) exercise itself didn't help couples to improve their marriages. To teach such interactions, whether as a daily tool for couples or as a therapeutic exercise in empathy, was a clinical dead end.
The Conflict Lens is founded on the belief that the concept of style is limited in that it does not inform a person what behaviors would be most valuable in successfully resolving conflict and that conflict resolution is based more on situational context than on dominant style (Callanan, Benzing, and Perri, 2006). [1]
Gottman also writes about the "Four Horseman" that are important to minimize and avoid: 1) criticism, 2) defensiveness, 3) contempt, and 4) stonewalling. [1] Of these four, he warns that contempt is the highest predictor for divorce.
Thomas and Kilmann proposed five modes of conflict management, developed from 1960 to 1975, which can be used to handle particular conflicts. [2] The United States Institute for Peace has published a free modified version of the Thomas-Kilmann test. [8] In that test collaborating is called problem solving.