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A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding children and being the primary decision-maker in a child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control weaken the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of the parent. [ 10 ]
The positive effects are likely if the parentification was temporary and moderate, which is an aspect of adaptive parentification. [21] Adaptive parentification can manifest if the parent is vital to their child's development and expresses to the child their awareness of and appreciation for the child assuming the parental role.
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Origins of narcissism in children can often come from the social learning theory. The social learning theory proposes that social behavior is learned by observing and imitating others' behavior. This suggests that children are anticipated to grow up to be narcissistic when their parents overvalue them. [51]
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Healthy narcissism was first conceptualized by Heinz Kohut, who used the descriptor "normal narcissism" and "normal narcissistic entitlement" to describe children's psychological development. [ 1 ] [ 20 ] Kohut's research showed that if early narcissistic needs could be adequately met, the individual would move on to what he called a "mature ...
The isolated family member (either a parent or child up against the rest of the otherwise united family.) Parent vs. parent (frequent fights amongst adults, whether married, divorced, or separated, conducted away from the children.) The polarized family (a parent and one or more children on each side of the conflict.)
The child, and later the adult, will seek to preserve and return to this narcissistic mode of being, notably through music, passionate love, or mystical ecstasy. Perhaps, after all, what fascinated Narcissus was the sight—beyond his own reflection—of the amniotic water, and the deep, regressive promise of happiness that it held out.