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Gottman's model uses a metaphor that compares the four negative communication styles that lead to a relationship's breakdown to the biblical Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, wherein each behavior, or horseman, compounds the problems of the previous one, leading to total breakdown of communication. [1]
What causes a couple to call it quits? John Gottman’s indicators of divorce, also known as the four horsemen, are considered the gold standard for predicting whether or not a relationship will last.
John Gottman was born on April 26, 1942, in the Dominican Republic to Orthodox Jewish parents. His father was a rabbi in pre-World War II Vienna. Gottman was educated in a Lubavitch Yeshiva Elementary School in Brooklyn. Gottman practices Conservative Judaism, keeps kosher (follows Jewish dietary laws) and observes Shabbat. [5]
Gottman also writes about the "Four Horseman" that are important to minimize and avoid: 1) criticism, 2) defensiveness, 3) contempt, and 4) stonewalling. [1] Of these four, he warns that contempt is the highest predictor for divorce. He defines contempt as a spouse viewing themselves as better than the other spouse.
Gottman's Four Horsemen are four negative communication patterns that can signal the end of a relationship. An expert reveals how to work on them together.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse [1] are figures in the Book of Revelation in the New Testament of the Bible, a piece of apocalypse literature attributed to John of Patmos, and generally regarded as dating to about AD 95.
Gottman goes into detail on The Four Horsemen in his book, "The Seven Principles of Making a Marriage Work". As stonewalling persists in a relationship and becomes a continuous cycle, the negative effects of stonewalling outweigh the positive effects, it then becomes the greatest predictor of divorce in a marriage.
The "Four Horsemen" is the professional wrestling faction that competed in the National Wrestling Alliance and World Championship Wrestling in the 1980s and 1990s. The faction's original incarnation consisted of Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Ole Anderson, Tully Blanchard, and J. J. Dillon, with other members including Lex Luger, Sid Vicious, Sting, Steve McMichael, Dean Malenko, Chris Benoit, Brian ...