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Gottman defines criticism as verbally attacking a spouse's personality or character with criticism vs. a complaint (a healthy form of communication). Defensiveness he defines as victimizing the self to ward off perceived verbal attacks, and it is really a way for the defensive partner to blame the other.
by Lisa Lozano Denise and Kenny are exhausted by their hectic work and home schedules while raising three kids, and don't always communicate as well as they could. Sound familiar? Relationship ...
Improve communication; Set clear goals and objectives; As well as the above, the basic principles for a couples therapist also include: To identify the repetitive, negative interaction cycle as a pattern. To understand the source of reactive emotions that drive the pattern. To expand and re-organize key emotional responses in the relationship.
The VSA Model posits that couples who have few enduring vulnerabilities, encounter few stressors, and employ effective adaptive processes are likely to experience high marital quality and stability, while couples who have many enduring vulnerabilities, encounter many stressors, and employ ineffective adaptive processes will experience declining marital quality and/or divorce.
For those who want to make a conscious effort to build trust in their relationship, Dr. Jennifer Litner suggested focusing on "being consistent in your communication, doing what you say you're ...
Active listening skills, including but not limited to eye contact, no distractions, and clarity seeking, round out these techniques by engaging in an active, respectful, and attentive way. Only by practicing these methods can listeners create a non-threatening, meaningful space for communication. [5]