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Say something like, “I remember when I lost my X and I felt X”. Or maybe share a specific memory like “I really enjoyed watching your dad coach you in soccer. I’m going to miss that.”
While this book primarily centers on the experience of grieving the death of a loved one, it could also be beneficial for children ages four to 10 years old coping with non-death losses.
When people cling to platitudes to comfort the bereaved, they are almost always “well-intentioned,” and “don’t know it will be hurtful." But oftentimes, they are.
The bereaved dress simply and sit on the floor, short stools or boxes rather than chairs when receiving the condolences of visitors. In some cases relatives or friends take care of the bereaved's house chores, as cooking and cleaning. English speakers use the expression "to sit shiva".
To console the bereaved was an important responsibility. The person offering consolation and the bereaved person were both expected to behave in certain ways and to say certain things, and the consoler to provide support of both an emotional and practical kind. [4]
I have had experience enough to know what I say; and you need only to believe it, to feel better at once. The memory of your dear Father, instead of an agony, will yet be a sad sweet feeling in your heart, of a purer and holier sort than you have known before.